….of old papers. Found this ‘poem’ circa 7th grade

If we lived in a cardboard box, we would decorate it with crayons and move outside of a Chinese restaurant so we could eat good food and be happy

If we were fat, we would sit on a couch, watch Jerry Springer together, eat lots of icecream and be happy

If we were dorks we would dress up like vulcans, go to conventions full of other vulcans and be happy

If we died we would go to locker rooms and haunt the showers together and you would cover my eyes even though I could see through you and we would be happy

If we were flowers, we would be ugly flowers so that no one would pick ever pick us and we would live in a field and be happy

If we were retards, we would play with stuffed animals, paint with our finger paints and I would understand your speech and we would be happy

If we were truck drivers, we would haul sewage, go to truck stops, prank people on the CB and be happy

If we were construction workers, we would steal all the signs and use them for wallpaper in our apartment and be happy

If you were me, and I were you, I would laugh at your dumb jokes and you would tickle me when I said I was fat

If we were astronauts, I would drag you to Uranus and you would moon me on the moon and floating out there in the stars we would be happy

If we were rock stars, I would dedicate my songs to you, we would trash hotel rooms together, we would decorate our tour bus with silly string and we would be happy

If we were crazy we would bounce around in our padded rooms, throw our food at the security guards, make fun of the other crazy folk and be happy

If we were stoners I would give you my bong and my potato chips

———-

Not the worst barometer for future relationships, I’d think